Posted by: Fawn | January 13, 2009

First Entry, Therapy Monday

Doctor said today She wants me to feel empowered enough to make my own path in life. Doctor, I want that too. I want to be able to say what I feel too but immediately, naturally, I feel like I must do whatever the other party wants to do because what I want isn’t important. That can’t be true though because I do what other people want but only while not being very pleasant in the end I think. So in that case none of us win. If I don’t start paying attention to what I want to do how can I possibly ever be happy. Last Thursday, which is Therapy Thursday, Doctor told me to do something for myself this weekend. Something fun, something to make me happy. I immediately replied what would that be? I’m so negative. Well, I didn’t do anything for myself this past weekend. I would have loved to spent some time on myself or even packing for my upcoming trip to the Galapagos but the weekend was spent getting a pregnant, stray cat that I found a week ago into a foster home this weekend.
That was good and I was happy about that but a lot of time was wasted. I had so much time to wallow this weekend. It was the opposite of a good for me weekend. It was snowing and gray and I had nothing to do and nothing I could do while staying at my friends. I did find myself chanting a little to myself. I noticed that I was also chanting to myself a little in the shower. I think it is nice that I am doing that. I must be trying to get through something at that time or like trying to soothe myself.


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